didn't work out very well. The asshole almost killed me; I was in the hospital for weeks, recovering from ... I forgot, but whatever he did that almost killed me. When I was ready, I left Sweden and returned to my house in wherever the hell I lived.
I was sick of all the lost episodes and haunted video games, so I decided to only watch normal television and only play normal video games from then on. I sat down in front of the television after cleaning up the remains of the lost episode of Full House and started channel surfing for something to watch. I saw that Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job was coming on in a few minutes on Adult Swim, so I decided to watch it because no matter how strange the show was, it was still more normal than the lost episodes I'd been getting myself into. In the meantime before the episode started I went to the kitchen and got some popcorn.
When the episode started it, things were pretty normal (for a Tim and Eric show at least). They must have come out with a new episode, considering that I hadn't seen it before. Yeah, if I haven't seen it before, it's new to me. Sometime into the middle of the show's opening, everything was in G major and at the end, instead of any random voice saying "great job," it was a low demonic voice. I was really hoping that this wasn't one of those lost episodes, but just another random bullshit thing the show was trying.
The episode obviously wasn't normal, since the rest of the sketches involved Tim and Eric brutally murdering each other graphically in some way. Shit was pretty creepy. At the end of the episode, Tim and Eric's heads were impaled on spikes sticking up from the ground. They spoke to me in unison, "Hi, there! We're Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim! In case you haven't noticed yet, this is a lost episode of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job, and we know where you live, Frederick Fredericks!"
"Oh fuck," I said. This really was a lost episode. They knew my name and everything.
"For more information, please take your DVD copy of this lost episode to the LEFA building in Moscow," Tim and Eric spoke again. My DVD copy? What the fuck were they talking about? This episode was aired on TV. Suddenly a hand holding a CD popped out of the corner of the screen and dropped it down offscreen.
I ejected the CD tray on my DVD player and found a CD with "Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job lost episode" hyper-realistically written on it. I had to do as they instructed, or else these lost episodes would continue to haunt me, so I traveled to the LEFA building in Moscow.
It turned out that LEFA stood for "Lost Episode Finding Agency". I went into the building with the DVD and several men in suits tackled me and put me in a cell after confiscating the DVD.
Hours later a realistic version of Patrick from Spongebob walked up to me wearing a suit and said to me, "Hello, my name is EVIL PATRIXXX." He let me out of my cell and gave me a suit of power armor and a pair of Kamina glasses. "You're probably wondering what you're doing here. We took the lost episode and now it's safe and secure inside our underground vault. We need you to help us track down every single lost episode and haunted video game so that we can contain it. Once you've done that, the LEFA can disband and we can begin our next mission."
"Will I get paid for this?" I asked.
"Twelve tacos an hour."
"Sounds good." I put on my power armor and Kamina glasses, and started my adventure to collect all of the lost episodes.
And then a skeleton popped out as a million nukes fell from the sky, reducing all life on the planet to a pile of ash. EVIL PATRIXXX, the LEFA building, LEFA's agents and I survived thanks to the powers of EVIL PATRIXXX. The world was destroyed, but I had to continue my mission. It was the only way to get these lost episodes and haunted video games out of my life.
And then a skeleton popped out.
"Come on, skeleton. This is getting annoying," I said.
The skeleton then ran off to pop out at me later.
Can I collect all of the lost episodes and haunted video games in a nuclear wasteland with a skeleton popping out at me? All this and more will be revealed in season three of ThatCelticFurry's trollpastas, coming to a Trollpasta wiki near you when all the autistic whiteknights die out.